


Aere Perennius

by MintChocolateLeaves



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Possessed!Kaito, pandora!Kaito
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 12:06:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MintChocolateLeaves/pseuds/MintChocolateLeaves
Summary: The moment Kaito looks at Pandora under the moon’s light, he loses the ability to see anything other than red. And it all gets worse from there. Pandora!Kaito.





	Aere Perennius

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [不朽](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14045850) by [Ghosta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghosta/pseuds/Ghosta)



> After like… three weeks of writing this, and 24 pages on word. This fic is finally finished at 9.3k words long. I hope you all enjoy!!

Red.

Dark, simmering red.

Red like the sun. Scarlet, the roses that bleeds into the roses he generously hands out, a flirtatious attempt at receiving some sort of attention from _anybody._ Red, like the blood that trickles from his arm when one of his more difficult magic tricks goes wrong, causes injury instead of wonder.

_Red. Like the immortal tears a gemstone is rumoured to cry._

Everything – _Everything –_ turns red when Kaito holds Pandora against the moonlight, staining his psyche and scalding an afterimage in the form of a burn against the lobes of his brain.

_Red, red, red, **red.**_

For a moment, Kaito does not feel like himself. He feels a slight faintness in his bones, a sickness in his stomach that squirms. Dropping his hand makes the feeling fade almost, although the world doesn’t return to it’s usual colour. Pandora sits heavily, in the groove of his fist.

It’s smaller than he thought it would be.

It’ll be easier to destroy it than he thought. If he gets a hammer and takes enough time then surely, it’ll smash – it can’t be that hard to destroy it, _right?_ But not now, first he needs to get away from the crime scene, needs to make sure no one catches him for his thefts as KID.

Destroying Pandora can wait, for now.

_Some element of Kaito realises that he wouldn’t normally wait to destroy the gemstone that got his father killed. Another element of him doesn’t want to destroy it at all._

So, he’ll wait until he figures out which side to him is going to win over the other. Kaito doesn’t want to make a reckless move concerning Pandora.

(Which is strange, because wasn’t finding Pandora his most reckless move altogether?)

* * *

“KID didn’t return the gemstone this time,” Hakuba says in school the following Monday, “his heist was four days ago.”

Kaito, still growing used to the lack of blue and green filtering to create various colours, takes a moment to look up. He lifts his chin from where he’s been leaning against a fist, and stares at the Brit.

“He hasn’t given it back?” His voice is far away, glassy. Then: “Maybe he’s finally found something he doesn’t want to give back.”

Hakuba stills at the concept. The detective leans forwards to look at him, eyes squinting to study him. Kaito’s pretty sure the other boy is sizing him up, considering the lethargic energy surrounding him, his almost sleepy expression.

“Did you find something you didn’t want to give back?” Hakuba says, as if simply asking will get Kaito to reveal his identity.

Kaito blinks, wades through a sea of words, each one heavy in his head. The word _Pandora_ keeps whispering against his ears, and it takes a few seconds until he can next open his mouth.

Once again, he has a faint feeling that something is wrong. The sickness returns, amplified this time, as he replies, “If he’s not given that gemstone back by now, then I doubt KID will give it back at all.”

Hakuba must see _something_ in his expression that Kaito doesn’t realise he’s showing, because the detective pulls at the cuff of his sleeve, something he only ever does when he’s nervous.

He says, “are you alright, you seem… off?”

It’s unlike him to be so forward about it; frankly, it throws Kaito off, pulls him into a recess of his own mind. Is he alright? Does he really seem off?

Kaito isn’t so sure. He’s been feeling a little strange since finding Pandora. But maybe that’s just what resolution of an overwhelming task leaves a person with? Maybe this is completely natural.

It’s not like he can exactly ask anyone. Well… he could ask Jii, but that would require explaining that he’s been holding onto Pandora instead of destroying it, like he’d mentioned he would.

That wouldn’t… be the best…

“I’m fine,” Kaito says, and musters himself to smile. It feels fake against his face, and it probably comes off as unnatural because it only causes Hakuba to frown. Maybe he’s not as good an actor as he’d originally thought.

Kaito quickly decides that it’s in his best interests to practise expressions more often in the mirror. If anything, it’ll make him more convincing next time he wants to trick Hakuba.

“Seriously,” he tries again, before rubbing at his eyes. The world remains it’s strange red and black monochrome despite the attempt to make things normal, “I’m pretty sure I’m just tired.”

“Right,” Hakuba continues, and then in an almost silent whisper, “like that’s ever stopped you from having energy before.”

* * *

_(Like he’d suggested, Kaito starts practising expressions in the mirror._

_Kaito begins to think that maybe the expressions become more realistic, because soon he seems less sleepy, and more energetic. He seems to be imitating the real him a little better now._

_Which… isn’t nearly as alarming as he thought it would be._

_He also gets used to seeing glowing eyes in the mirror – it’s the same shine he’d seen Pandora, an imitation of the real thing. It’s almost strange, how tempted he feels to pull the gemstone out from it’s hiding place, lifting it to the moon just to see the shine again._

_The longer he leaves Pandora locked away, the colder he feels on the inside, as if the stone’s absence is gnawing away at his warmth.)_

* * *

He gets Pandora out.

Overridden by impulse, Kaito pulls it out of his father’s hidden room, where the gemstone has been stashed away, and races towards his window. He throws open the lock, pops his head out and searches for moonlight.

It’s to his right – a beam of light from the waning moon. Kaito pushes his torso out of the window so the light washes over his body, a pale white that washes out all the red.

Sitting on the window sill, Kaito lifts Pandora, peers through it and sees colour again for the first time in a week. It’s so disorientating that for a moment he almost flinches backwards, barely manages to keep himself from falling to his death.

Still, seeing colour again fills Kaito with a warmth that he’s been severely lacking. He raises the stone up again, braces himself, and stares at a bright, colourful world. Kaito’s grip tightens until the stone pierces through his hand, blood pooling around the immortal stone.

And he finds himself thinking, ‘ _Wouldn’t it be nice to be immortal too?’_ before everything goes black.

* * *

Akako is staring at him in class the next day, but Kaito tries not to notice it. It’s difficult, seeing how she won’t _look away,_ but he manages to focus on the seemingly endless onslaught of work that is thrown his way.

It’s not until she taps him on the shoulder during the interim between classes that Kaito finally turns to look at her. Long, black-painted nails dig into his shoulders, until a wave of irritation attacks the front of Kaito’s skull like a migraine.

“What is it, Akako?” He says, struggling to keep his expression neutral, avoiding his heaviest glare. It’s all for Aoko’s sake, he tells himself, seeing as she’s head over heels for the _witch._

“Your hands,” Akako says, staring down at him with wide eyes, shock prevalent on her face. “They’re stained with red.”

Kaito’s pretty sure they’re not. He’d walked to school this morning with Aoko, and she hadn’t mentioned anything about his hand being different to usual, so he _knows_ they’re not stained at all.

It must be witch talk for something. Whatever, Kaito doesn’t care enough for it. Akako’s probably just trying to rile him up again, antagonising him for no reason other than because it’s _amusing_.

“Right,” Kaito says, shaking his head. He says, “I’m not the one who goes around using voodoo tricks to force others under my control. There’s no blood on my hands.”

Somehow, it feels like a lie. Kaito isn’t sure _why._

“There’s blood on your hands Kuroba-kun,” Akako says, eyes squinting now, a nervous energy spiralling off her. Distrust rolls off her in an intensity that leaves Kaito blinking away confusion. “I’m a witch, I can tell when someone’s been up to something _bad.”_

Well, obviously Akako can’t, because Kaito really hasn’t done anything recently except practise feeling human in the mirror and staring at Pandora under the moon’s light.

Maybe theft is bad, but if his hands have only just become red, then it’s obviously not that.

“There’s really nothing–”

Now the nervousness morphs into anger. Not a loud explosive anger, like Kaito knows from Aoko, but rather a quiet simmering rage that boils on a low heat for what will probably be a _long time._

“Don’t lie to me, Kuroba-kun.” Akako says, placing her hands on the desk, nails digging into the wood with a vice-like ferocity. “I’m not bringing it up because I care about you, but because Aoko does.”

The fondness as she speaks Aoko’s name is almost terrifying in of itself. What Aoko sees in the other girl worth dating will never be something Kaito can understand.

“All I know is that you seem different and you’ve got _blood on your hands_ ,” the witch continues, “so until you’ve figured out whatever seems to be going on, stay away from Aoko. I won’t have you putting her safety at risk.”

It’d make sense for her to warn him when it came to the organisation, but Kaito really… _doesn’t_ understand what she means. Still, it’d be more effort to go against her demands, and so Kaito decides that after the school day, he’ll simply… _distance_ himself from Aoko.

* * *

With Kaito practically _banned_ from talking to his closest friend, he realises that there’s not much in Ekoda left for him. His mother lives with him, yes, but she’s been distant ever since the Kaitou Corbeaux incident.

She might be in France now, actually… Kaito isn’t that sure. She’d mentioned something about a trip to Europe, and Kaito’s been too distracted by such a warm _red_ that he’s kind of forgotten when she’d planned on leaving.

That leaves him with… a newer area to explore. Which… Kaito doesn’t know where exactly he should go. Shibuya is usually alive, so he makes his way towards that prefecture, loses himself in warm lights that never turn off.

He stays there until the lights blink to black, the world blurring until he opens his eyes again to tousled bedsheets and mud beneath his nails. Blackouts, except, Kaito finds that with Akako’s words, he’s not entirely curious to find out what’s been happening to him.

“I wonder where I should go today,” Kaito mutters, as he’s washing the dirt from beneath his nails, scrubbing until the tap water goes from brown to clear. He offers a smile to his reflection, feels further away from being himself than ever before and says, “maybe Akihabara would be better than Shibuya today.”

* * *

He doesn’t get to Akihabara in the way he’d planned: Alone and without any inconveniences.

Shortly after class ends, Hakuba seems to almost attach himself to Kaito’s side, worry etched into his forehead. He doesn’t seem stern, in the way Akako had been, but there is an element of fear in the British detective.

 _“I’m worried,”_ Hakuba says, as he invites himself to Akihabara with Kaito, “you’ve not been up to your usual tricks.”

Kaito turns and smiles. He says, “maybe I’m planning something so big it’s taking all of my time up?”

 _Something like immortality,_ a voice whispers in his head.

Alluring, telling him to quit trying to keep things the way they were and allow himself to drown in Pandora’s light. It promises that once he drowns, the illusions will come to swallow him up – anything he wants, he can have.

“Something big…” Hakuba says, as he follows behind the boy, terror mixed with his confusion, “I don’t like the sound of something like that.”

Kaito resists a glare, scoffs instead and says, “you’re a detective, of course you don’t like something big happening. It usually means death and serial murder for you guys.”

“And what does something big mean for you,” Hakuba asks, following him into one of the electronics stores.

Kaito pauses. He taps against his cheek, comes up blank with any ideas that might include getting dirt under his nails and realises he doesn’t know what he’s doing during the hours he’s blacked out.

“I’ve not decided yet,” Kaito grins.

* * *

It must worry Hakuba, because the other boy keeps joining him after class ends.

Kaito considers the detective’s actions, decides that it’ll be useless fighting the other to stop, leave him be, and carries on.

“These areas you’re going,” Hakuba says, weeks in, when he’s realised there really isn’t any meaning behind them, “there’s no logic to them.”

Kaito offers the detective a wry grin, pushes out of the underground and into the Teitan prefecture. They take the escalators, with Kaito jumping from foot to foot in some attempt to use up excess energy riling in his body.

_(It’s been building up, since he’s abandoned his status as KID.)_

“I’m sightseeing,” Kaito says, “I’ve lived in Tokyo for so long, and I don’t know everything about it. Isn’t that bad?”

Hakuba clears his throat, as if to say yes. They make their way out – Kaito’s only ever been in Teitan twice, each time during heists and preparation. He’s not had time to try out the cafes, or set foot inside the malls.

He won’t have the time today either – because as soon as they cross the road past the station, there is a scream.

Hakuba races towards it. Kaito, instinctively, wants to ditch the detective while he works on whatever case he’s on.

He doesn’t.

Instead, Kaito chases after him, joins Hakuba as they make their way towards what they soon discover to be a _murder scene._ The detective drops down, taking the victim’s pulse – _‘dead’ the Brit whispers –_ before glancing around the scene.

The world flashes bright against Kaito’s vision, as his gaze lands on that of the body. Something slithers around his neck, an emotion capturing him in a noose and hanging him outside of his comfort zone.

It is not disgust, or fear.

The feeling is more like… amusement.

A strangled source of humour that sends Kaito off guard because he does not normally react to death like _this._ He purses his lips, stares down at the body and reminds himself of the facial expressions he’s been practising in the mirror.

“Hakuba…?” The voice is not his, although it could be, if it was a little deeper, a lot less serious. It belongs to someone else, someone Kaito’s sure he’s heard before. “Is this what I think this is?”

“Kudo-kun,” Hakuba says, “yes… It appears to be murder. I’ve got the police on the phone.”

How strange – Kaito hadn’t even noticed his classmate pull out his phone. He turns, to glance at whoever this Kudo guy is, and falters. The teenager looks a little like him, except not at all, with alarmingly bright blue eyes.

Kaito forces himself not to flinch away. Sure, staring at Pandora under the moonlight lets him see colours again, but he’s always gone back to seeing red after he’s put the stone away.

This is the first time seeing blue in a while.

It’s shocking and Kaito has to know _why_ the boy is different to everyone else. He can’t ignore this – can’t ignore this blip of colour.

He’s finally found his _‘something big’._

* * *

Kudo Shinichi…

Kaito searches the name up and gets a lot of results. More than he’d expected a teenager to gain – he’s even going his own _wiki page_ for God’s sake – and many with conflicting information.

Another teenage detective, _Kaito remembers that briefly from years before,_ who’d dropped out of the public eye roughly a year and a half. He’d not attended school for that long – _Kaito had double checked his school attendance –_ and had made his reappearance only months ago.

The other information… Well, Kaito will have to learn it from the source himself.

He decides to start heading to Teitan more often, followed by Hakuba, just to see if he can bump into the detective at any point. He mostly fails, unknowing of Kudo’s schedule no matter how hard he tries.

“Kuroba-kun,” Hakuba says, a week into constant trips to Teitan after school lets out, “this isn’t exploring anymore, why are we here?”

Kaito turns to him, expression vacant, struggling to add emotion onto his face. It takes a few seconds, during which Hakuba starts to frown, before he says, “I’m trying to figure something out.”

“Figure what out?”

“Nothing you’d understand,” Kaito says, as they make their way into a café, sitting down. This is what he’s been doing recently – sitting in cafes with Hakuba, sipping at hot chocolate and waiting to see if Kudo will show up to this one. “It’s about colours.”

Hakuba raises an eyebrow.

“Let’s just get dri–” Kaito pauses, tilts his head as he sees Shinichi enter with a brunette girl – _Miss Mouri Ran, he remembers her from heists –_ “hey isn’t that your friend?”

 _Yes,_ Kaito thinks, _make Hakuba invite him over so they can converse without Kaito giving away the fact he’s been waiting for Kudo to show up._

Hakuba turns. “Oh yes, it is.”

“Go say hi,” Kaito says, “I won’t disappear if you go talk to him you know. In fact, I think I might even order some food so, go say hi to your _friends Haku-chan.”_

Hakuba manages a glower, before standing.

Seconds later, Kudo and Mouri join them at the table, waiting for a takeout order to be cooked.

That’s how Kaito officially comes to know Kudo Shinichi.

* * *

He’s staring at Pandora again.

Everything is red, and he lifts the stone up to the moonlight, staring through it for a chance at gaining some normalcy. He misses the yellow flickers of nightlights, the dark green of the grass beneath his feet.

Kaito lets out a sigh, enjoys the colour and tries not to let the subtle whispering in his ear register in his brain. It’s difficult, especially as he realises it’s not actually a whisper, but thoughts he doesn’t want to think about.

“Immortality…” Kaito whispers now, finally giving in and allowing himself to think the thoughts himself. The world is colourful around him, and Pandora offers a warmth that’s like sitting at an open bonfire.

_Kaito hadn’t wanted anyone to be able to become immortal, he knows that. But –_

“Immortality,” he continues, “that doesn’t seem so bad.”

The world flashes again, and the colour fades away. Even with Pandora present, and the moon, the world does not go back to it’s usual colour. If anything, Pandora seems to lose its red sheen, goes back to just a usual gemstone.

Kaito grits his teeth, eye twitching before settling into a scowl.

“Stupid rock!” He growls, hurls it towards the wall.

Pandora smashes. Except, something in Kaito’s head whispers that it’s fine – _that stone isn’t the immortal thing anymore._

* * *

(Later the KID taskforce receives a box in the mail, something they’ve been waiting on since the previous heist over three months prior. There is a handwritten note on the inside, something that Inspector Nakamori will spend hours wondering about:

_It wasn’t working. I’ve no use for something that’s broken._

Inside the box are fragments of a stone Nakamori had been trying to protect. Appraisers test the stone and – yes, it’s the same thing, only shattered into pieces.)

* * *

Two things happen in the week following Pandora’s destruction.

First – Hakuba corners him as he’s entering class, pulls him to the back with the deepest glower Kaito has ever seen.

“It was a priceless gemstone, and you _destroyed it?”_ The detective doesn’t even pretend to make it hypothetical, saying _KID_ smashed one of the gemstones he stole. He’s taken the destruction personally.

He’s too irritated, too personally involved that Kaito knows he’s not trying to bait him into confessing. There will be no hidden recording devices, no bugs designed to gain a confession.

So Kaito lets his expression darken, the ends of his lips twitching into a mixture of a smirk, and a snarl.

His voice is venom as he hisses, “priceless? Hakuba, that gemstone was useless. _Useless things should be destroyed.”_

Hakuba’s anger dissipates with a flinch. He recoils, takes a step backwards away from Kaito with what can only be described as a flash of fear. Kaito tries not to let any smug amusement show on his face, finds he doesn’t care much when he realises he’s failing.

“Is this your something big?” Hakuba whispers, leaning forwards and attempting to stilt his breathing. He’s pale, clearly panicked by the expression he’s just seen.

“Oh that…” Kaito shakes his head, readies himself to return to class, “that’s nowhere near.”

The second thing happens the following day, in the form of Akako stopping by his desk. She stands further away that she usually would, hesitation evident.

“You’ve been messing with something outside of what you can handle,” she says, a sternness replacing the usual mysterious energy she wears like a cloak. “You need to stop now before you reach a point you can’t come back.”

Kaito, as with most of their other conversations, is lost. He shakes his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Your eyes,” Akako says. She pauses, glances around her, “they’re red. Not to everyone, only to those trained to see magic and the unknown, but they are… things are different, and you need to snap out of this.”

“I’m not…” Kaito shakes his head, pushes down on the irritation that builds in his throat, “there’s nothing to snap out of, and my eyes are most certainly not _red.”_

“If you don’t stop now,” Akako says, “there will be nothing but misery in your fate. So… think about that at least.”

Kaito doesn’t.

There is nothing to think about.

* * *

Hakuba still follows him sometimes, and Kaito uses those times to become more than simply acquaintances with Kudo. In fact, after a few interactions alongside Hakuba, he manages to pry LINE details out of the other boy.

And from there, interactions are a lot easier.

They talk, text messages sent to one another, attempt to figure one another out, whether they want to keep talking or drop the friendship almost instantly. Kaito must do alright, because they agree to hang out a while into talking with one another.

Kaito feels a trickle of excitement slither down his spine at the chance of more interaction.

He’ll find out what makes Kudo’s eyes blue.

And he’ll steal it like the thief he is.

* * *

The first outing with Kudo is to the cinema.

There’s a new Detective Samonji movie out, and Kudo had mentioned that he wanted to see it. As such, Kaito had decided to ask if the other wanted to go with _him,_ to get some information out of the other.

He buys both tickets – ever the gentleman, and despite Kudo’s protests – before goading the other boy into the theatre and towards their seats. It’s an interesting movie, and yet to Kaito it feels like there’s something missing in it.

“For all the smart crimes committed,” Kaito says afterwards, as the credits come on to the screen, “the criminals aren’t very impressive. Samonji ruins one of their plans and they don’t know how to improvise a new one.”

Kudo raises an eyebrow. He says, “not many criminals are actually that good at improvising, I think it’s true to reality.”

“But that’s not what we’re talking about: the majority. Do you know what I mean?” Kaito says, crossing his arms. He shakes his head, “no, these are supposedly the best of their kind, people are capable of being far more _devious_ than that. You know?”

He turns to look at Kudo, lets out a deep breath at the other boy’s expression. It’s pale, ashen, as if some memory has spun in the back of his head, catching him off guard.

“Yeah…” the detective shudders, “but even those criminals get caught eventually.”

He sounds like he believes it – or at least, Kaito knows the boy _wants_ to believe it. It’s not exactly something that Kaito can say for certain is the truth: He’s not been caught. His father had never been caught during his life.

“Maybe.” Kaito says, and then as an afterthought, “I take it you had a rough case once?”

Kudo shudders.

“A long one,” Kudo says, “but I don’t necessarily want to talk about it now. It was… incredibly draining.”

Kaito nods. And instantly files away the fact for further thought – there’s a small instinct bubbling at the back of his head, telling him that Shinichi’s rough case is part of the reason his eyes are colourful in the way that they are.

“That’s fine,” Kaito says, “we don’t have to pull up the past.”

And yet, Kaito knows that he will. He’ll pull it up like he’d pull weeds from the ground, destroying whatever is in his wake to know the information.

“Thanks,” Kudo says.

* * *

They go for coffee next, something that Kaito enjoys a lot more than he’d thought he would.

Having a mystery to solve in Kudo gives his mind something to focus on. He likes trying to find out about the blue, and every time he sees Kudo – no, _Shinichi_ \- there’s always a smaller splash of colour around him. It starts with his eyes, but slowly, his hair levels out into a soft brown, his skin into a paleness that he likes to colour with a pink blush.

Being with him grants Kaito a little bit of normalcy, and if anything – Kaito loves that about the man.

“So,” Kaito says, as they sit down with coffee. Kaito glances at a mocha latte, while Shinichi stirs sugar into horrid black. “What do you do in your spare time?”

Shinichi flushes, as if he doesn’t believe there’s anything worth saying. He says, “Nothing much I guess, detective work. I… recently took up soccer again.”

Kaito’s lips twitch into a smile, “you enjoy sports?”

A nod. And then: I used to do it just because I wanted to stay healthy, but I sometimes look after some neighbourhood kids and teaching them to play made me want to join my school’s team again.”

How… quaint. There’s something about Shinichi that just seems genuine, and even in a state of not quite feeling things, Kaito knows that there’s affection is his heart for the boy. And that is will grow.

It’s dull, difficult to feel, but Kaito knows himself well enough to know that it’s there

* * *

He goes out with Shinichi again.

And again.                                            

And again, and again until all the meetings start to mesh together in a whirlwind of _Shinichi,_ his smell, his colours and all of that in between. They spend months tiptoeing around one another, Kaito going on more dates than he experiences blackouts, before finally Shinichi gives in and drags him forwards into a kiss.

Kaito smiles against the boy’s lips, and when he pulls away, there’s a moment of _pure clarity._ Colour surrounds him – only for a few seconds – and Kaito’s eyes widen at the sight. He lets out a small laugh too, wonder inside.

“What?” Shinichi asks, shy. As if he’s scared of being turned away. _(Why would Kaito turn him away?)_

“It’s going to sound cheesy,” Kaito says, grabbing his hand again, “but that kiss made me see clearly for the first time in a while.”

Shinichi offers a confused smile. “Definitely cheesy.”

And yet, _true._

The world returns to red, _as it always does,_ but Kaito doesn’t care. For him, it’s enough. He’s been given a new clue in gaining colour back, and it’s all because of _Shinichi._

* * *

“Something’s changed,” Akako says, biting into her lip as she stops by his desk next. She tilts her head, “I think you’re snapping out of it, whatever it is. I’m glad.”

Kaito narrows his eyes.

He says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Akako tilts her head, surveys him for a moment before answering: “yes, I’m starting to believe that. But if you’re working your way through it, then it doesn’t matter. Just don’t let it get the best of you again.”

Kaito grits his teeth.

“I’m not being controlled by anything,” he says, again.

Akako shakes her head. She doesn’t need to speak to emphasise that she thinks he’s an idiot.

“Okay,” she says, although it’s clearly a fake response, “maybe I’m wrong.”

She is. She _must be._

* * *

“I’m sorry,” Shinichi says over the phone the following night, “I can’t meet with you while I’ve got this one case going on, I can’t put you at risk.”

Kaito, eyes slightly blank at the prospect of not being able to see Shinichi for a while, tries not to argue the point. Of course, he still wants to see Shinichi, and the bright colours that the detective brings with him…

“It’s okay,” Kaito says, although it’s clearly _not._ Every second spent with Shinichi is another second spent regaining colour. And not seeing the other man means giving up that opportunity.

Continuous red is driving him crazy.

He isn’t sure whether he can keep dealing with it. (Well… he doesn’t have much choice, obviously, but still…)

Kaito will cope with it until he can’t any longer. And he’ll do things on Shinichi’s terms until then.

* * *

Of course, that doesn’t mean that he can’t conveniently run into Shinichi at any point. He can’t _openly_ search for the detective, but he can say hello if he does happen to see Shinichi.

Which is exactly what happens.

He’s wandering around Tokyo again, towards Shibuya, when he turns down a side alley, towards one of the smaller cafes he’d discovered a while back. And there – is Shinichi, having cornered what can only be the culprit of whatever case he’s working.

A culprit… with a gun.

“Shinichi?” Kaito mumbles, tilting his head. He knows he should be feeling worried – don’t people usually feel worried in the presence of guns?

(It’s at this point that Kaito realises Pandora had taken a lot more than just colour. Emotions… he feels the absence of them.)

“Kaito?” Shinichi turns for just a second, and it’s enough for the culprit to move his gun up, enough for Shinichi to not notice in time.

“Hey!” Kaito says, eyes narrowing into a glare. He will not let Shinichi die, not if it means never seeing colours ever again. “What do you think you’re doing!”

The sound of a pop echoes the alley.

Kaito feels fire burn at his insides as he watches Shinichi fall. Unmarred, but injured from where Kaito had pushed him.

“Kaito!” Shinichi glances back to look at him, as Kaito stares towards the culprit… his _shooter._ “Are you okay..?”

At first, he doesn’t say anything by way of response. It’s difficult to breath, almost, when he tries to move. Then, he offers a smile small enough to be real. He says, “I’m fine Shinichi.”

“R-r-red eyes,” the culprit mutters, pointing. He raises his gun again, but the metal trembles in his hands. “M-monster.”

Kaito does not respond. He feels almost like he has heart burn. He places a hand on his chest, leans forward for a second and takes a deep breath. It’s painful, but not anything he cannot handle.

“Red?” Shinichi questions, as Kaito pulls back his hand, the skin slicked with blood. His eyes widen at the sight of blood, at Kaito still stood, staring down a murderer with little signs of pain on his face.

“I won’t let you hurt Shinichi,” Kaito says. He staggers forward, an attempt to disarm the man from his gun and fails. He only gets so far, before Shinichi grabs onto his arm, pulls him backwards.

The gun is dropped either way. The presence of red eyes seems too much for the man to handle.

“Kaito,” Shinichi mutters, pulling him backwards, “You’re injured.”

“I’m fine,” Kaito responds, turning at the sound of his voice. “Are you?”

Shinichi inhales deeply, and Kaito can see that he’s forcing himself not to recoil away. Instead, he reaches a hand up to Kaito’s chin, glances into his eyes and mutters, “but they’re blue…?”

Then, he shakes his head, looks down. “You’re bleeding.”

“It doesn’t hurt.” Kaito says, because it doesn’t. It’s moved to a tingling sensation, nothing more than a brief pain. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Shinichi, of course, worries. He moves forward, unzips Kaito’s coat and lifts his shirt up to see his wound.

_A wound that doesn’t exist._

“What…?” Shinichi shakes his head, glances up at Kaito with a mixture of confusion and fear, “But the blood?”

Kaito places a hand on the detective’s wrist, pulls it away and offers another smile. He says, “It’s fine, don’t worry. I really am fine.”

Shinichi falls quiet.

He doesn’t bring it up again until the police have left with another culprit in handcuffs, pushed into the back of a police car. And even then, there’s a hesitance there, as he pulls on Kaito’s sleeve and whispers, “we _will_ talk about this.”

* * *

It’s not until he’s sat down in Shinichi’s house – the first time, Kaito wants to comment on it, but it really isn’t the time – that Shinichi demands his explanation.

The detective bites into his lip, crosses his arm, and hesitates.

Nervous, Kaito realises. He doesn’t want to bring it up, doesn’t want to talk about how he’d clearly received a fatal wound but hadn’t… hadn’t needed medical help. There’s tissue scarring over, proving that he had been _hit_ but…

“What…” Shinichi breaks off, shakes his head. “What happened back there?”

Kaito bites into his lip. “Well, it would appear that I was shot.”

Shinichi does not offer a warm response. Instead, his eyes narrow down into a glare, mouth settling in a thin line. He says, “I saw that… what I’m asking is… why aren’t you in the back of an ambulance right now, heading to surgery?”

The detective only receives a shrug, because to be perfectly honest, Kaito doesn’t know either. Although, he does have a faint idea.

“And your eyes,” Shinichi says, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to understand. “They were _red._ That shouldn’t be possible.”

 _Shouldn’t –_ Somehow the way he says the word makes it seem like he has a habit of coming across things that shouldn’t be possible.

“It might have something to do with this stone I found,” Kaito says looking away. He has to be careful here; Kaito has to ensure that he doesn’t serve his secret identity on a platter to the detective. “It was rumoured to give immortality to those who drink from it.”

Shinichi offers him a dry look. He says, _“so you drank from it?”_

“Of course not!” Kaito says, and there’s a slither of irritation rising up, finding it’s way among an emptiness, “I don’t want to be immortal!”

A doubtful look. Shinichi says, “well to me it seems like you are. So, you must have completed whatever ritual the stone had.”

Kaito glances away. He’d not done any ritual, had just looked at Pandora under the moonlight while it had slowly stolen all colour from him… _oh._

Oh.

“What is it?”

Shinichi tugs on his sleeve, pulling him back from the realisation spinning around in his head. Kaito pulls back, takes a quick look at Shinichi and shakes his head.

“It’s…” He runs a hand through his hair, “it seems I accidentally gained immortality…”

“Right.”

The expression of someone who doesn’t believe the story in it’s entirety. That it wasn’t an accident but something planned out from the beginning, a child’s dream and wish…

“Shinichi,” Kaito says, eyes widening now as he comes to the realisation of what exactly immortality would mean. Living forever, losing colour forever, _losing Shinichi forever._ “I don’t want this.”

Desperation floods through him, his stomach squeezing with realisation. Kaito’s heart heaves heavily against his chest, leaving him breathless, _lost,_ unable to figure out how he got stuck in this situation in the first place.

“I don’t want this,” Kaito says, choking on the words. Living forever wouldn’t only mean losing Shinichi… he’d lose everyone. _Everything._ And if there’s anything the loss of colour has taught him, it’s that Kaito doesn’t want to give away anything else.

* * *

It’s a quick decision really.

Both Shinichi and Kaito decide that together they’ll find a way to counter the curse of immortality Kaito has had thrown on him. Which… Kaito knows it’s not going to be as _easy_ as that, but he’s hoping that…

“Tell me everything,” Shinichi says.

So Kaito tries. He tells Shinichi the fundamentals, how he’d held Pandora up to the moon and the world had gone red – how the only way he could get the colour back was to look through the stone again and _again and again_ until the colour had just disappeared.

He doesn’t mention the draining of his emotions, how he’d been forced to wear masks constantly, or the details of how exactly he’d _received Pandora,_ but he does mention the blackouts. How he’d been able to see colour in Shinichi.

“In me?” Shinichi shakes his head, “what does that even mean?”

Kaito shrugs his head. He says, “I don’t know, but it’s something I really want to figure out…”

Shinichi is quiet. He glances away, bites into his lip.

“That’s why you wanted to know me isn’t it?” He says, quiet. Kaito gives a quiet affirmation. Now, he sets his shoulders, looks Kaito in the eye. “Us… was it always about getting colour back for you? What we have, is it the truth, or fiction?”

A pause. Kaito knows it doesn’t seem right, but he doesn’t want to lie, not to Shinichi. He wants to make sure his response is the truth.

“It started off that way,” Kaito says at last, “but don’t we always get to know people for our own motives? The feelings come after.”

“But the feelings,” Shinichi continues, “they did come? After?”

“Yes.”

Doubt – again. Not that Kaito can blame him, he’s thrown Shinichi a lot of questionable information recently, and it’s not all… favourable information. And yet, even with all of the doubt, Shinichi offers him a smile, squeezes Kaito’s hand.

“Good.” A weak laugh, “Let’s get to work then.”

* * *

Their first job, Shinichi says, is finding the stone again. Something that Shinichi seems to think will be easy – something he thinks Kaito still owns.

Kaito, nervous to admit that it’s in police custody, avoids the subject of Pandora’s location. He pretends that he’s gotten washed up in school work and that he needs a little time before he can meet with Shinichi again.

A ploy that lasts all of three days, before Shinichi shows up outside his class, courtesy of a single text message from Hakuba of the school’s location.

“You’re avoiding me,” Shinichi says when he grabs him by the gate. He pulls them in the general direction of a small café which Kaito _knows_ for a fact will be packed so soon after classes have finished.

“I am not,” Kaito lies.

“Yes, you are.” Shinichi says, when they stop in a small alcove just beside the café. Bricks swamp them, leaving Kaito feeling swamped, locked in. “Listen, if you’re not serious about reversing the effects then–”

“I don’t have the stone.”

He blurts it out, the words sudden as he stares at the detective. All he receives is a frown.

“I’ve been thinking of ways I can get it back,” Kaito mutters, scuffing the rim of his boots against the pavement, “but right now I don’t have the stone, so we can’t go down the route you wanted us to.”

Shinichi narrows his eyes. “What do you mean you don’t have it?”

The question sends thoughts buzzing around his own head. What to tell? How much to tell? Should he say he’d given it back to its rightful owner, back to the police?

There aren’t many options on Kaito’s side. And most of them include telling the truth about his identity as KID.

“I… It wasn’t mine, I took it.” Now, he glances away, rubs at the back of his neck. “When it stopped working, I gave it back.”

A pause. Glancing at Shinichi shows that the boy isn’t please, is extremely _displeased._ He says, “you stole it?”

“Yes.”

“You know, Kaito,” Shinichi says, crossing his arms now, “for someone who says he doesn’t want to be immortal, you seem to have gone through a lot of trouble to get the stone in the first place.”

Another pause. And then, with a long-suffering sigh, “Shinichi, it’s a _really long story._ ”

“Seeing as you’re immortal now,” Shinichi says, “I’d say that you have enough time to spare. When I said tell me everything… I meant _everything_ Kaito.”

Kaito opens his mouth. He does not have the opportunity to say a word.

“Not an abbreviated version either,” he says, “if you really want me to be on your side, I need all the details.”

So Kaito tells him.

* * *

Shinichi does not react in the worst way possible, so Kaito counts it as a win.

He begins with scepticism, something that Kaito manages to break through with a few carefully formulated words. Then, it shifts into disbelief – even after giving his reason, there’s still confusion as to why he’d resort to theft and stealing the identities of others.

Then worry: _“You are the real Kuroba Kaito right?”_

And finally, after having Kaito explain it all to him, he shakes his head and lets out a sigh.

“Alright,” Shinichi says, “so lets get this straight… You’re a criminal, one that the police are actively searching out for assault and repeated thefts… _destruction of property._ ”

Kaito nods.

“Okay,” Shinichi says, nodding his head. “Yes. So that’s something we definitely need to talk about, but… it’s nothing we can’t solve. I mean… you said you were trying to get that gem to destroy it?”

Another nod.

“Then we don’t need to worry about that anymore. If you found what you were looking after, then you don’t need it anymore, right?” Shinichi pauses, “The only thing we need to worry about now is… the immortality.”

It still feels strange hearing that. But it’s the truth. His time as KID is over, and now his new goal is to become mortal again. And from there… they’ll figure everything out.

“I don’t want to commit crimes trying to turn you back…” Shinichi says, “I can’t condone crime… so… we’ll have to try something else and see if that works instead.”

Kaito nods.

“Okay,” a pause. “What are you suggesting?”

“Well… Your biology was changed to make you immortal, right? So, we need to go to someone who knows about biochemistry well enough to reverse those effects.”

Right. And they have one of those at their disposal, do they?

One who will believe in the premise of immortality?

“I know just the person,” Shinichi says.

* * *

The person turns out to be a child.

Shinichi leads him to Professor Agasa’s home, next door to his, and for a moment, it’s a little difficult to believe that the inventor is also a biochemist, but Kaito goes with it.

His detective however, upon seeing the scientist asks, “Professor, is Haibara around?”

Haibara Ai… _Only just turned seven years old._

Kaito feels like strangling Shinichi. Either the detective thinks he’s not been listening when talking about the children he babysits, or he’s gone insane, because Kaito won’t be cured of immortality by a child.

“Oh Shinichi,” the professor says, “yes, I’ll go get her for you.”

Kaito and Shinichi leave their shoes at the door and wait on couches for Haibara to come upstairs. It’s during this, that Kaito lets his mind stew, irritation growing in his stomach at being played around, immortality being taken as a joke.

“Kaito-” Shinichi says, noticing the way his shoulders are coiled.

“You’ve brought me to a child,” Kaito responds. His voice is empty, confusion rolling off his tongue, attempting to understand. “What can a child do?”

A small smile, “you shouldn’t underestimate children.”

No, Kaito thinks, he shouldn’t. And yet he knows they shouldn’t overestimate them either, placing unnecessary expectations on people who won’t be able to bear them…

“Kudo-kun.”

It’s a quiet voice, reserved and slightly cold but definitely a child’s. Kaito looks up at the sound to see the child Shinichi has brought him to – from where she’s looking at Shinichi it’s difficult to see much of her face, shoulder-length hair hiding her face from view.

She’s small, a blinding reminder that she is a child.

“Haibara,” Shinichi says, “we’re in need of a favour, if you could help?”

The girl pauses, nods her head. And within seconds, Shinichi is launching into his story of the impossible, telling her about how he’d witnessed someone get shot, how their body had healed the wound over.

“The kind of thing you’re suggesting Kudo-kun…” She’s acting serious, but there’s also a hesitation there as well. She’s wary of Kaito’s presence, is picking her words with caution.

“I know,” Shinichi continues, and now he waves a hand towards Kaito, “but I’ve seen it with my own eyes. And… we want to reverse those effects.”

Haibara hums. She says, “what you’re suggesting is that this person is immortal?”

Shinichi nods.

“And what about you?” The girl says, turning to Kaito. She offers a frown, an expression of distrust that Kaito has only ever seen adults wear, “you think you’re immortal as well?”

Kaito readies himself to say _of course,_ _I was shot and there’s no scratch_ , but the minute he makes eye contact, the words falter in his throat.

He stands, too quickly for it to seem natural, and takes a step towards Haibara. He kneels, grabs the girl’s shoulders and stares into her eyes. She squirms for a second, fear flashing across her face, her eyes eventually widening from shock.

Beside them, Shinichi stands, alarm rising from his throat.

“Your eyes,” Haibara mumbles, “they’re red.”

Kaito frowns, “and yours aren’t.”

* * *

Apotoxin 4869.

A drug created to with the aim of inducing immortality. It’s almost overwhelming to learn that Shinichi had once been stuck trying to reverse the effects of his own immortality.

“But it wasn’t immortality in a sense of yours,” Shinichi explains, after Haibara has left in search of needles, preparing to take his blood. “It was only an attempt.”

Kaito turns his eyes to him. “You were poisoned…”

“Yes.” A pause. “But that doesn’t matter now. We reversed that, and we’ll find a way to reverse yours.”

But Kaito knows that this drug was nothing like the real thing. Taking years from a person, leaving them in the physical age of a child… maybe it would mean never dying of old age, but it’s not the kind of immortality Kaito has.

And if it’s not the same kind of immortality, how can they say with all rationality that they can counteract this one like they had the last?

“Your eyes…” Kaito says now, “the reason I can see colour in them is because of this drug? This apotoxin.”

A nod. “If you can see Haibara’s eye colour too, see colour on her, then that must be the reason why. Maybe because we’ve survived a faux immortality?”

“I see.” Kaito turns from him. “So it was a drug that made it so I could see colour. That’s… not what I’d been expecting.”

“Kaito?”

“What if I only like you because of the apotoxin, Shinichi…? What if I’m in love with you because you’re the closest thing to immortality? The closest thing to me?”

Shinichi is quiet.

“We’ll figure that out when you’re back to normal.”

* * *

Weeks later and still: No changes.

Kaito tries to be patient, he really does, but he can feel time flying past him, just past his reach, unable to grasp and remain as it is. Despite Haibara’s attempts, she can’t do much to reverse his condition without knowing what his biological make up was _before_ he’d been cursed.

“I’m sorry,” the child – _woman, Kaito reminds himself –_ tells him as they reach the end of the academic year.

Kaito will be graduating soon. Leaving behind education and attempting to navigate life as an adult with _this_ hanging over his head.

“It’s too difficult,” Haibara says, “your DNA looks like the average persons. None of this makes sense and yet – you’ve shown me before as well.”

He has. Nearer the beginning, when Haibara had been more sceptical of Kaito’s _‘condition’_ she’d required some sort of proof. Shinichi, of course, had been against it, terrified even.

Kaito had taken one of the kitchen knives and sliced into his arm. Before their eyes, the skin had sealed over, as if he’d never done the action.

“There has to be something different about it,” Kaito says, “there’s no way there isn’t an indicator of… of _this.”_

Haibara shakes her head. “If I’d had previous blood tests maybe I’d have seen a minute change in your DNA, but without it… your blood is like everyone else’s. When it leaves your body, your cells stop healing themselves so rapidly.”

So… it’s just him then.

He’s truly cursed.

“Kuroba-kun,” the scientist continues, “I truly am sorry.”

Kaito tries his hardest not to slam the door on the way out. He does anyway.

* * *

There’s only so much that he can do after that. If there’s no scientific way of reversing the effects, then Kaito needs to accept that magic must truly be real. And well… there’s only one person he knows who has knowledge of it.

Akako.

He’d much rather live forever than ask for her help in reversing the effects of such a curse. Except – no he wouldn’t, because he’s asking for her help regardless.

“You said I had blood on my hands,” Kaito says, when he turns to face her during the class interim, his voice quiet enough not to be heard. “A while back, I mean. What did you mean by that?”

For a moment, Akako squints, her smile tightening. She says, “you still don’t know?”

Kaito glances down. He says, “I understand what you meant by red eyes, and I know that I’m cursed, but not the blood on my hands.”

The smile dissipates, replaced with tight lips and a sad gleam. Kaito’s known Akako for years, and yet he’s never seen her wear an expression like this one.

“So… you’ve finally come along to realising the magic you’ve been plagued with.” She glances away, bites into her lip. She’s too nervous, unwilling to speak. What could make a witch like her fall into silence?

“The blood on my hands,” Kaito repeats.

“It’s the blood of people you’ve harmed.” Akako says, forcing herself to meet his gaze. Maybe she’s expecting him to flinch at the revelation, but all Kaito feels is his blood thicken into an icy sludge.

“What?”

His first thought is – the blackouts he’s been having. He hasn’t… what would Pandora gain from that? No – even influenced by Pandora he wouldn’t harm… others?

“Surely you realised?” At his blank expression, Akako shakes her head. “Magic comes at a price. You want to be immortal, to live forever, then other people have to experience what you won’t.”

Even with emotions that are difficult to grab hold of, Kaito shudders at the thought.

“No–” Kaito shakes his head, “that’s not possible.”

Akako plucks her hand into her bag, pulls out the metal ruler she keeps with the rest of her stationary. Then, without another word, she brings it down, full force onto the back of Kaito’s hand.

A sharp pain tingles against his hand, beads of red welling up against his skin.

“What the fuck?” Kaito mutters, although the pain is gone within seconds, his skin repairing within seconds – first, there is a pink scar, but it quickly fades to a white scar.

“I’m trying to show you,” Akako hisses, and for a moment she mutters words under her breath. Latin – some witch spell that Kaito wouldn’t believe were real if it weren’t for Pandora and everything it’s put him through.

He opens his mouth, settles on closing it without a sound.

And before Kaito’s eyes, her skin reddens, blood oozing from a cut that shouldn’t exist on _her skin_. Akako winces, eyelids widening momentarily as she deals with the pain.

“What just happened…”

“It’s the curse you bear,” Akako says, “I didn’t realise it at first but from watching you, over the months I’ve come to realise that’s what the magic was. Every injury you have, every part of you that changes from the version of you that existed when you were cursed… it all goes to other people.”

Kaito bites his lip, “to you?”

“Not me,” Akako shakes her head, “to random people. And your hands are bloodied with what you could have saved them from.”

His mind flashes to the tingling he’d felt upon being shot. He should have died then – and… and since he hadn’t that means someone had taken his place?

Kaito heaves in a deep breath. This is not what he’d wanted.

“Can you stop it? Get rid of whatever this… is?”

Akako glances towards Aoko, sat nearer the front of the classroom and offers a small wave. And she sighs, “only because Aoko-chan misses you. Give me a week, and it’ll be gone.”

* * *

Kaito doesn’t know how she does it.

But she does.

* * *

He’s reading one of the books Shinichi is obsessed with, when red suddenly fades into more saturated colours, the walls fading back to a light blue, the door painted white.

Kaito startles more than he expected he would, bites into his lip and stares around the room as if he has been transported to another land. He places his book down upside down on his bed, trusting gravity to keep his page, before lifting both hands up to his eyes.

He rubs at them.

Still colourful. In fact, the only thing that’s red is his lip when he looks at himself in the mirror – it’s bleeding, from where he’s bitten down in surprise.

The cut does not heal itself.

“She did it?”

Relief cuts through him. It’s overwhelming, too much to handle at once and is soon followed by an anxiety powerful enough it leaves Kaito light headed, palpitations tearing a hole though his chest.

“She really did it?”

Excitement and misery. The mixture is alarming, especially when combined with a headache inducing terror, his head throbbing at his temples. To go from feeling emotionally absent to feeling everything at once…

Kaito doesn’t know how to handle it all.

“…Shinichi.”

The detective mingles into his thoughts as the emotions flood him. Kaito bites his lip, grins and forces himself to reach for his phone with steady hands, rather than diving across his mattress for it.

He presses speed dial, and he waits, energy filling the parts of him that had previously been empty.

“…Kaito?” The word is sleepy, as if Kaito’s woken Shinichi up. Despite him having picked up on the first ring. Despite it being six o’clock in the evening.

“I can see colours again,” Kaito begins, “I’m _bleeding.”_

He hears cursing on the other side of the line. “Kaito, what are you talking about?”

Kaito blinks away light-headedness, reminds himself to breath and says, “I’m not immortal anymore.”

No sound comes from his phone speakers. Kaito takes it as an indicator to keep talking. He feels mania bubbling up in him, happiness wrapping around his throat. Surely it can’t be bad to be _this_ relieved?

“And Shinichi, I know the truth now, about whether it was the apotoxin that drew me towards you.” He pauses, re-evaluates his emotions and finds that they’re still the same. “They’re not. God, _Shinichi,_ it wasn’t that immortality drug at all.”

A sigh of relief. “You had me nervous, I thought maybe you’d get rid of your immortality and lose all interest.”

“Lose interest?” Kaito lets out a laugh, “Shinichi, I’m distracted by the mere concept of you, I’m _in love with you_. Immortality or not.”

A sigh of relief. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> The author very much so enjoys comments.


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